RitzBlues Plays Dark Souls

How many times has Ritz died in Dark Souls?

ONE HUNDRED EIGHTY SEVEN

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STREAM I – IT BEGINS – 07/21/2017

  1. The First of Many
  2. Death 2 was unfortunately not recorded due to a stream error.
  3. Skelly-mans instruct Ritz to Git Gud
  4. The Lay of the Land
  5. Skelly-man party
  6. !! BLOOD LOSS !!
  7. Yeah so Parry is hard to do.
  8. Throw hot FIYA
  9. Strategic. Calculated. WEEEEEEE!
  10. Being Impatient
  11. FIRE HOT OUCH NO FIRE
  12. That’s death… on a stick!
  13. Dies to Taurus demon, forgot to hit the Clip button.
  14. Another death to Taurus
  15. I laughed so hard when the Red Drake flamed him that I forgot to hit record!
  16. Oh good, I got it recorded anyways!
  17. Stabby stab stab!
  18. Ritz gets poisoned and has a bad time.
  19. Introducing: The Black Knight

STREAM II – MISADVENTURES IN UNDEAD PARISH – 7/28/2017

  1. Fight for the First Bell
  2. Feels Bad Man
  3. Capra Death 1
  4. Capra Death 2
  5. Annnnnd Capra Death 3!
  6. Ritz has roundabout way of saying “I fucked up.”
  7. Sunny D Shortage
  8. The Dark Salt Rises
  9. Famous last words: I COULDN’T DODGE!
  10. This time, Ritz blames a ledge.
  11. Ritz is okay with this.
  12. Parry.  Yeah that’s a strat.
  13. Embrace death
  14. Baby’s first Curse

STREAM III – As Above, So Below – 8/4/2017

  1. Welcome to Blighttown!
  2. Random Blighttown Death
  3. B…but my items!
  4. Boosh!
  5. *Complains*
  6. Why did I jump down?
  7. Ritz stop dying so fast pls
  8. Oh…well…guess I’ll clip this LOL
  9. “I…I was just trying to see how tough he is”

STREAM IV – Fortify and Overcome – 8/11/2017

  1. Ritz fights a powerful boss: Lock-On
  2. *Drinks* ~I’m Dead~
  3. Even in different games, we die together.
  4. *Burning Alive* “I did it!”
  5. Are traps gay?  Traps are gay.
  6. Cyrus belittles Gundam but that’s not important…
  7. SSSSSSSSssssssssss~
  8. sssssssssSSSSSSSSS~
  9. Embrace the pendulum traps!
  10. Aww cute, their death cycles sync up.
  11. 10 out of 10 #DarkSoulsOlympics
  12. BUT MUH BATH
  13. The Triple Tap
  14. Just a classic ass whoopin’
  15. It goes unclipped, but Ritz gets dunked on by Iron Golem
  16. Ankle death
  17. “Don’t die.  You died.”
  18. Another ankle death
  19. Very good and fair physics
  20. Dunk’d
  21. Just the absolute perfect choppies

STREAM V – The City The Gods Made – 8/16/2017

  1. BRB oh you’re dead.
  2. Anor Londo: Your Next Vacation Destination
  3. Those two asshats with the bows and arrows
  4. Curveguns!
  5. Random death to a Titanite Demon
  6. JOLLY CO-OPERATION!
  7. Another death to a Titanite Demon
  8. Silver Knight & “Whoops”

STREAM VI – We Mid-Game Now Bois! – 8/18/2017

  1. Silver Shankin’!
  2. Ha haaah!  I have the upper hand!  OH GOD
  3. Ritz comes to terms with a bad weapon upgrade decision.
  4. Then I missed.
  5. Chupa is a little scared now.
  6. Jerk face.
  7. Smack dat.
  8. Right.  Shield Slams.
  9. Silver Sonuvabitch
  10. This death is not special at all.
  11. Death from Lautrec’s crew.
  12. Spear to the back 🙁 
  13. SURPRISE MOTHERFUCKER
  14. Seeking Legal Help!
  15. GundamX drops the ball – Lawyers Death #2
  16. Call Ornstein & Smough today for a free estimate (on your remaining life!)
  17. Backtrack to Sen’s Fortress – Ritz takes a plunge straight to the bottom
  18. Speaking of pendulum traps…
  19. “I was trying to get sexy with my parries”
  20. Ooo is that salty I hear?
  21. Just the tip 😀
  22. Wait…what?
  23. RITZ NO
  24. DAD STOP PLS
  25. Ritz pulled a Cyrus XD
  26. Oh hello Stray Demon, lets be friends HURRRKG
  27. WHAM
  28. BAM
  29. THANK
  30. YOU
  31. MA’AM
  32. Three strikes and yerrrrrrouttaherrrrre
  33. Okay okay slow down Ritz
  34. Ritz studies strategies that don’t work
  35. Did someone at this table ask for…CHOPPIES?
  36. Kill that ass! Literally!
  37. Death to ghosts in New Londo
  38. One-way trip to dead!
  39. Ghost dudes all over the place!
  40. Ouchies
  41. More Sunny D, please!

STREAM VII – A Burning Sensation – 8/25/2017

  1. Unknown death 1
  2. Unknown death 2
  3. Silly Slimy Slug Succ
  4. MOVING CONVEYOR – PLEASE WATCH YOUR STEP
  5. The Most Vaudville Death Ever
  6. *slip*
  7. But at least I have this egg.
  8. I DISCHARGE
  9. YOU DISCHARGE
  10. HE/SHE/IT DISCHARGES
  11. WE DISCHARGE
  12. THEY DISCHARGE
  13. Those worthy of linking the flame: Ritz
  14. Jumped by the Squad
  15. Ain’t No Party like an Old Painting Party
  16. Singed by some Toxic Nutsacks
  17. Punched by some Toxic Nutsacks
  18. So…I gotta FARM these?
  19. Ambush Ahead!
  20. Precision vs. Accuracy (spoiler: both kill you)
  21. Dragon so heavy wow
  22. Well I’m gonna die.
  23. Like a brick!
  24. Road rage but with bones
  25. Take my acid! Oh it does nothing.
  26. Big Honkin’ Knight

STREAM VIII – Lawyers Never Die – 8/28/2017

  1. I lived. I died.
  2. Snakes in a Fortress
  3. Danger Noodles
  4. Oh Smough Fucks.
  5. Lawyers death
  6. Stop! Hammer Death!
  7. Another Lawyers death
  8. Destiny 2 gon’ have to wait…
  9. Death on the staircase next to lawyers
  10. Tippy Tip Tip
  11. Ornstein’s Wrath
  12. BabyRage
  13. SwiftRage
  14. In The End
  15. Intense Battle with Super Smough
  16. The Combo
  17. The Cutscene Smash

STREAM IX – YOU DEFEATED – 8/30/2017

  1. A single death before finally defeating Ornstein and Smough. If you think this stream is a little light on the deaths, you’d be right. Ritz spent 90% of this stream killing Lautrec via Black Eye Orb. He died about 10 times, but these deaths technically don’t count because Ritz is a phantom during that fight. At least that’s the reason that Ritz gave me. You can decide for yourself weather or not that weak shit is valid. Here are a few of those deaths: G U I L T Y

STREAM X – Life After Legality – 9/15/2017

  1. BOAR!
  2. ありがとう、オバマさん
  3. Bait and SON OF A BITCH
  4. Staircase gank
  5. Counter Thrust
  6. Ode to Papa Ritz
  7. CHAIR NO
  8. A Combo.
  9. Death 165 I don’t give a shit
  10. Too Many Billy Mays
  11. Inevitable Death to Seath
  12. I think he missed.
  13. In which the camera is a douche
  14. Push it real good
  15. Ritz goes down the hole
  16. Clam-mydia
  17. Clampsey Roll
  18. Edges are evil
  19. Clams
  20. Git Gud
  21. Clam Clam
  22. Tails hurt

Ritz was, at this point, very frustrated with Slagithar’s build. He hated his stats and wasn’t having fun with Dex weapons. He made an informed decision to all but abandon this character and start a new one. Within a weekend, Ritz brought his new Int-based character up to speed, killing nearly every boss that Slag defeated within a fraction of the time.


STREAM XI – A New Hero Rises – 9/18/2017

  1. Bye Slag!
  2. ~SPLOOSH~

STREAM XII – Basically, D&D – 9/29/2017

  1. Backed into a corner :/
  2. Dickin’ around in Duke’s Archives
  3. Crystal Bitchin’
  4. WHATS UP F**KERS
  5. I told Ritz not to fall off, he fell off.
  6. It’s canon, he’s a chemical librarian.
  7. Weak point?